It’s just my creepy science mind at work. I was thinking how bizarre it is that a parasite is growing in you and will eventually explode from your body through an extremely narrow opening, and yet you will both survive.

He did get a lot of pictures like that. Or ones where women were mostly naked, but looked surprised by the fact.

It’s like strapping toothpicks onto a newborn colt and telling him to walk. Wearing heels is a sport and I don’t want to play.

I knew that by this time tomorrow, I was going to be eternally grateful for falling down the stairs and knocking myself unconscious. Smartest dumbest thing I’d ever done.

I am successful because of my brains and my guts, put together, and I don’t need some fancy-ass degree from a bunch of sweater-vest-wearing pricks who haven’t gotten laid since Bush Senior was president... Do you know who studies sociology? People who would rather observe life than live it.

You need to decide whether you’re willing to risk being hurt, plain and simple. You can go for it and have a wonderful relationship. Or you might go for it and crash and burn brilliantly. It’s up to you if you want to take that risk, up to you if it’s worth it or not.

If she had learned anything twenty-five years, it was that money wasn’t worth much if you didn’t have anyone to share it with.

If I’m working this hard in the morning, I’d prefer it be because my man has woken me up with an eight-inch nudge.

He was willing to pay her to hang around his house and paint Piper’s fingernails? It sounded as easy as Britney Spears.

There is a danger when you leave the past behind, and reinvent your life, that at some point you’ll look at yourself, and no longer recognize who you see.